Dating Story #1: The Bank Robber


I thought at this point it might be interesting to explore an example of a bad dating choice.  In the first post to this blog I mentioned dating a bank robber. This is true.  I did go out with a bank robber but here’s the disclaimer: I was ignorant of his bank robbing activities and I was quite young.

I was in my early twenties attending Art school where many of us used creative exploration as an excuse to spend a good deal of  time inebriated and dancing in clubs. One night while dancing at my favorite club, I saw a cute-ish, mohawked and multi-ear pierced guy shaking up a bottle of champagne (the ’80’s drink of choice) and spraying it all over the crowd on the dance floor.  Intrigued by the sheer wastefulness of good champagne, I approached this person and said in my best smiling sarcastic way, “You are either very stupid or very rich.”  The guy replied, “I am very rich.”  Artsy and rich! An irrisistable combination to a former Prep turned Bohemian.

Somehow I convinced Bankrobber Boy that if he was into wasting perfectly good champagne that he should prove it by buying enough for me to bathe in.  He agreed and purchased two or three cases of whatever the bar had left  (some swill water variety since he had earlier bought them out of Dom) and one or two drinkable bottles plus a slab of lasagna for sustenance.  We ventured to the place where I was house sitting for a friend and proceeded to pop plastic champagne corks and fill a bathtub (I did add a bit of hot water for comfort). Mostly clothed we got into the tub, drank one of the decent bottles and ate the lasagna.  That was the beginning of our short dating relationship.

When I asked Bankrobber Boy where he got his money he gave me the same line he had given everyone else we mutually knew; he had inherited a ton of money from his grandfather and was now able to draw from a substantial trust fund.  I knew lots of people from private school who had large trust funds so it seemed perfectly logical.  I figured he was just going nuts with the novelty of having “real” money for the first time to use at his descretion. It happens.

We met a once or twice more for dinner then he asked if I would like to go on a trip with him to somewhere fabulous- I fail to recall the exact destination but remember it was wonderful like an island someplace with palm trees, white sand and blue water.  Always being game to travel, we made some sketchy plans about a departure date in the next couple of weeks.

A few days later he dropped by the  boutique where I worked.  Dressed in his usual cut off pants, big T-shirt and combat boots (it was the ’80’s and he was “cool”), he wanted a suit for something or other.  I set him up with a Hugo Boss blue plaid jacket and black pants, belt, shoes, shirt and tie.  Once the ensemble was altogether he asked me to hold it for him in the dressing room while he went to make a withdrawal from his trust fund.

He returned about twenty minutes later, paid for the suit in cash asking me to keep all the coins from his change (he didn’t like the noise of rattling change in his pockets he told me), changed his clothes and asked for a bag for his old clothes.  We chatted for a minute about out travel plans and he left.

That evening on the local news a story appeared about another local bank robbery.  The fourth in the last six weeks or so. Downtown very near my place of work. I thought nothing of it at the time but would soon realize that I had unknowingly helped Bankrobber Boy escape  by selling him a change of clothes.

One week and a dinner date later, just a few days we were supposed to leave for wherever it was we were going, breaking news interrupted the mid -afternoon.  Another bank robbery.  By the six o-clock news the guy had been caught and all seemed safe and right again in my little town until Bankrobber Boy failed to call me about our trip. (Ahh, the days before internet, cell phones and texting) I asked around and soon learned that he had been arrested as the bank robber of all five  banks!

I never heard from him again and for all I know he is still in jail.

Well, folks, that is dating story #1.  Hope you enjoyed it. More to come.


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