about match


Here is what happened when I went on match.com:

When I first went to the site, there was an invitation to “browse before buying”.  So I went to browse and in less than two seconds found a picture of a handsome man and clicked on it to read his profile.  It was a though I had made him up in my head.  He was in his mid-fifties, lives in Middleburg, had been in the horse business and loves horses, divorced, his kids were grown (youngest in college), he had traveled all over the world, lived in a foreign country and wanted to travel more, plus he practiced yoga.  There were pictures of him doing out doors things and at a black tie gala – oh, and did I mention he enjoys the performing arts and practices yoga?  I frantically joined Match in order to meet THIS man in particular and set about writing up my profile.  It took several hours to get my profile just right ( I am a writer, I can’t just put anything out there) and when I finally finished and searched for this guy to show him how utterly perfect we would be together, his profile had been removed.  AAAAGGGGHHH!

Frantic, I immediately called Match and asked to be removed.  The explanation I offered was, “I don’t want to meet men, I just want to meet that man.”  Match, of course, would not hear of it.  The understanding customer service rep did upgrade my account for free, however- oh great (she wrote sarcastically).

(If you would like to try match.com for free for 72 hours, click here)

That was late night on a Thursday.

I left my profile up over the weekend and by Monday morning there were 356 responses.

Here is what I learned about match pretty quickly.  This is far from news for anyone who has tried it.

The majority of men lie about their:

  1.  height– they always say they are taller than they are
  2. income– they tell you they make more than they do
  3. activities– they sound much more active than they are (Every man except one I communicated with who put yoga on their activity list had tried yoga only once. The exception really practiced Qui gong.)
  4. physical fitness– they say they are in better physical condition than they really are
  5. commitment level– they say they are interested in love but, well… some might actually be but most seem to be just looking for sex
(Click here for a link to a Huffington Post blurb that shows similar findings.)
I culled the list down to three.  What fun that was!  There were some pretty humorous characters like the marine who basically wanted a subservient sex slave (he actually mentioned lingerie in his profile) whose profile picture had him holding a  big fish (demonstrating his ability to provide food?),  the cowboy who went on about how depressed and broke he was (does that attract women?) and the guy who looked gay who created a “prince charming” platform including mention of a glass slipper. My coworkers and I were entertained for days.  It certainly made the slow time in our office go by much faster! The married women were the most engaged in the process, living vicariously through my date search misery.
The three men I picked were quite different and good “prospects” for varying reasons.  I shall describe each of them and our dates in future posts. Please know now that  the dates spanned a spectrum that went from reasonably normal to bizarre, the first being normal the last being nothing short of scary.

5 responses »

  1. Aw darn! I think your committee should have created your profile for you, based on our experiences of you. Can we see what you put down? Can you update your profile? I wonder what you may have heightened/downplayed for yourself…. you are not bald, you can buy food for yourself…

    Can we have the opportunity to review the “winks” or “pokes” or whatever the folks on Match do when they indicate interest? I want to decipher those puppies.

    • Hi Dora,

      These tales are about my previous match.com experiences but I think your concept that the committee should create my profile for any online dating site “we” choose is fantastic. You all will be privy to all activity for any online dating.

      Thanks for the contribution!

  2. Pingback: first shadows: a week of remembrances | Dating by Committee

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