Who should call whom? Is this a valid question in today’s dating world?

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The other day I read a blog post by Suzy Weiss a dating coach for women over 40.  In her blog, WHAT MEN REALLY WANT IN A WOMAN Suzy discusses the “calling issue” where she suggests that women should not call men until a relationship is established.  She relates the story of a woman named Patty who called a man after the first date to invite him to a concert for which she had tickets and what happened next when the man didn’t call her.  Suzy suggests that by calling the man, thus “chasing” him, the woman ruined her chances with him.  I thought, maybe it was her having sex with him on their third date that killed that one but what do I know?

I am unsure how I feel about this topic of whether or not to call a man.  I tend to lean towards getting to know someone as a friend before considering a romance (not that I have done that before but it is why I am working on that now) and so calling him seems just fine.

What are your thoughts?  In the middle of life what should be one’s policy for calling?  And for you coupled people:  What is your story?  Was there some sort of “chasing” thing set up to facilitate a “catch” or not.  Please share your thoughts and stories.

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5 responses »

  1. CALL!! are you kidding….. we are all mature, sophisticated, educated adults. In my case, I want a partner and I don’t want to waste my time finding a great one. Sooooo if you think we have a chance to succeed, make the call.

  2. I see nothing wrong with calling a guy. It shows your interest. Besides, it seems like you’re playing games if you don’t call.

  3. I like to know the woman is going to be an active participant in the budding relationship. It’s uncomfortable to feel like you’re alone in making an effort. By all means, call and be real and honest about your expectations if you aren’t ready to do so.

    • Paul, it is great to get another male perspective on this topic. I am all about people expressing their honest expectations because we are all grown-ups (hopefully) at this point and lack the time or energy to play games with one another. It is also important to know that you, as a man, think it is important for a woman to be an active participant.
      Thanks for commenting.

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