Dusting off: Dealing with rejection




One of the scariest things about entering the dating world is the promise of rejection and if one is entering the dating world post- divorce you are probably still a bit sore from the multitude of emotions that go along with that- rejection included.  In my last post titled, Seriously?, I describe a rejection from a man with whom technically I had one date and how I found it annoying.

Perhaps it was more annoying than it should have been because my ego is still a little bruised from my divorce or other misadventures in the dating world. Maybe I feel a bit scared that I will never find a partner for life. A friend texted me after reading “Seriously?” and said, “…men are such pigs!!!” But I have a problem with both my reaction and my friend’s. This guy isn’t a pig.  He is a wimp.  He, like most attached men, rolled over to the whim of the woman, the manager of the relationship.  He told me he had broken things off with his girlfriend but she wanted to continue the relationship. Therefore, her perception of the relationship rules and since she defines them as together, they are. He did the thing that men normally do in such situations- he caved.

Please know that this theory is not mine alone.  My good friend, John actually introduced me to this one then I explored it via other resource and basically confirmed it.

In terms of my reaction, words of wisdom appeared to me this morning as I was doing a little inspirational reading which basically stated that what I go through in life is unimportant compared to how I interpret the experience.  I have a choice about my attitude. I can feel wounded or victimized (his girlfriend suggested that he was using me to get at her) or I can chalk this one up to experience and know that I am all those things people keep telling me I am: fun to be with, beautiful, smart, interesting, etc. including lovable.

I can either feel sorry for what I might have missed (which is not reality) or I can embrace the chance to further learn to love and appreciate myself (a really good idea).

So this morning I focused on all the good things I do for myself like eating a good breakfast, having a walk/run in nature, practicing yoga and writing this blog.  I feel much better now.

What are some healthful ways you overcome rejection?

2 responses »

  1. Here is one way. Realize you are the greatest gift you can give someone. And that you have a ton to offer. His actions suggest he might not be worthy of all that. So my unsolicited advice? Don’t spend another minute mourning the loss of what you wanted him to be…and focus instead on making yourself happy, which it seems is the exact path you are taking!

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