A new attempt at writing a personal ad

Standard

 

If you have been following Dating By Committee you are probably familiar with my  match.com experiences (and have a full understanding why I am not on any online dating sites).

BUT…

Steve Harvey’s advice on setting standards up front to weed out the throw back men from the keepers has inspired me to maybe, just maybe, try it again.

This time instead of writing some lovely romantic narrative on what I like and how fabulous I am, I will write up something much more frank.

It could look like an Audition notice and read something like this:

AUDITION NOTICE

Seeking adult male  to take on the permanent role of  SUPERMAN  in a long running improvisational production entitled, RESPECT THE GODDESS.

Men seeking this once-in-a-lifetime, plumb role should be 40 + years of age (or  really mature if under 40) , enjoy children, have established careers that they enjoy, positive attitudes, a clear life plan, comfortable with improvisation and  be in good mental and physical health.

Auditionees should be able to jump into an established ongoing production with one adult actress who plays multiple roles (Writer/Mother/ Lover/Goddess),one adult male (college aged son who drops in occasionally) and one young female (tween-aged girl) with the rare visit from Stella the hilarious yet aging Bull Terrier.  Other cast members include: Family who live out-of-town, a parcel of fun/interesting Friends from varying nationalities and backgrounds,  the school fundraising committee, writing colleagues, the Quaker Friends a host of artists of varying mediums, some yogis/yoginis and 2 former actors who lost the privilege of playing this role.

The actor cast will be required to provide some cast meals so you should be able to cook or pay for healthy take-out or restaurants and be able to clean or afford to hire a cleaning service.

Dancing is a plus.

WARNING: Nudity will be required IF you are cast (The Director reserves the right to review serious candidates at her discretion).

The lucky actor cast  will receive the following benefits:

  • love
  • loyalty
  • support
  • intelligent conversation
  • a well managed home
  • a willing traveling partner
  • tickets to cultural events
  • lots of laughs mixed in with the regular stuff
  • an amusing insider’s view of the creative process
  • special attention from a sought after goddess
If interested: send a resume and a brief description of why you think you should be considered for this role.
So what do you think? Anything I should add, delete or otherwise?

 

 

 

 

 

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9 responses »

  1. Oh my gosh, that is so funny!!! With a few minor edits (punctuation), I think it’s pretty much perfect as it is. 🙂

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