Boys of This Summer


Hope you are enjoying Spanish Holiday.  I am taking a short break from it to fill you in on my current personal life.

School started for my daughter today.  It is a marker not only of her growing up, a new chapter in her life but also the end of summer for both of us and consequently, the end of a time when I tend to date more.

The score for  this summer:  7 married men thwarted, spent some brief time with a divorced guy that just didn’t work out,  2 former lovers rejected, and met 3 “never-been-marrieds”.  One of the latter three men lives in another part of the country so we email and chat on the phone but really there is little opportunity for it to go anywhere though he is wonderful.  One, I just met and we are having a first date soon.  The other one, (I will refer to him as CC), seemed like the most interesting prospect I have come across since my separation from H2 in 2009.  We “dated” (a word used for simplicity) for a month (almost to the day), starting out luke warm, moving on to “we don’t want to date”, advancing to definite interest and official dating -which was lovely, though short-lived – and ending up with him wanting to downgrade back to friends.

(Mary’s rule:  You do not French kiss your friends.)

Though I respect his feelings and am fine with the pursuit of a friendship with this man as I think he is a rare find in so many of the best ways, I am admittedly disappointed. It just seems so hard to find someone with the qualities I now seek.* Plus it felt really good to have someone special in my life.  Nice to get a daily “How is it going?” and “Sleep tight, xo” texts.  Nice to have someone be excited about going places with me and exploring my new home town. And really nice to be genuinely interested in getting to  know someone with the idea of a long term romantic relationship in mind.

I am grateful to have taken it slowly, following Steve Harvey’s advice regarding the 90 day rule,  setting and adhering to standards- saving me a lot of potential emotional turmoil.

So in my post quick- downgrade- blahs I decided to go on just to look and see what was out there.  My original intention was to check out CC’s profile to see how he represented himself in the dating world at large but then since he decided he was uninterested in me romantically, I thought I would just go on to look at what is out there in the area.

Wouldn’t you know it.’s number one pick for me is,…. drum roll, …..CC.

Fabulous! The irony nearly drives me to despair.

Oh well, back to the drawing board.  Will be removing my “just looking” profile from match directly.

Chat later,


* Qualities I am now seeking in a man:

  1. A good sense of humor
  2. An even temper and positive attitude
  3. A willingness to overlook my flaws
  4. A sensitivity to me and what I care about
  5. An ability to express caring in a way I understand
  6. Addiction free (this includes but is not limited to cigarettes, alcohol, legal or illegal drugs, work, sports, sex)

5 responses »

  1. You know, this might be a good thing. You get to go on “easy” rather than “fast forward”, and sometimes very wonderful lasting and deep love generates from reduced demands of a friendship.

  2. Pingback: Cad Online? | Dating by Committee

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