Men to Avoid: Those in Favor of Legalizing Prostitution

Standard
Below is the second definition of “dating” found on Urban Dictionary (for more click here):
dating
socially acceptable form of prostitution.example
I spent a $30 for a movie, before the first base. A $50 for lunch, for the second base, and a $70 on a romantic dinner before we cut to the chase.
If you have been following my blog you probably already know that I am enough of a prude to be offended by this definition although I have a wicked sense of humor so it also makes me laugh.  I will restrain myself from the obvious rant that men may shell out some dough for dates but women spend a lot of time and money preparing for those dates.  In fact, I recall that my Match.com date #2 felt that I owed him “something” for taking me out to dinner when in actuality taking into account that I had my hair colored ($85.00 – I know that is cheap but I have a secret stylist) and paid for a baby sitter ($50.00) I spent about the same amount preparing and facilitating the date as he did on dinner. (to read that story click here).
But really?  A man who pays for coffee or a meal for you and thinks that this entitles him to some nookie is a man to avoid.  He is a womanizer to the Nth degree.  He thinks of women as objects or playthings not people – items to be purchased.  Just get up and walk out on him (or better yet, you can secretly record the conversation and replay it later for your friend’s amusement).
Understanding how I feel, you can imagine the side-splitting, eardrum- busting laughter that ensued when my friend whom I shall refer to as, Polly Purebred, related a dating story concerning a man who took her out for lunch on a first date and proceeded to wax poetic for an hour-and-a-half on why prostitution should be legalized in the United States.
What sort of message do you suppose this man was attempting to convey?
At any rate…
Ms. Purebred emailed me recently with a conundrum.  How should she respond to this same man’s email inviting her on a second date?
She wrote something like this (I removed specifics to protect identities):

Hi – Mary – this is the guy I was telling you about who spent our first date lunch going on and on about why can’t prostitution be legal in the U.S. – he must have sensed I was talking about him because he emailed me.

I would love to come up with something pithy in reply but I’m tired and have run out of ideas for how to respond to a**holes – would love your input 🙂

The following is my suggested response:

Wow, AH! *
Great to hear from you!  
Before I agree to see you, I want you to know that I was truly inspired by our last conversation and have decided to start a small business.  If you would like to get together it will now cost you $200.00 per hour with a minimum of two hours.  If you are interested in any “extras” it is $50.00 per activity.  You must pay for the first two hours of my time up front. You can give me cash tucked inside a nice greeting card within the first 5 minutes of meeting at a mutually agreed upon place or I can take your credit card number over the phone.  Any charges for accommodations are on you.
 
I can’t thank you enough for the idea for my new small business!  It has changed my financial position dramatically.
 
I am currently taking appointments, I mean arranging for dates, for the first week of November (things have been crazy busy) so get back to me quickly if you are interested.
 
Looking forward to hearing from you.
 
Best,
PP

8{), M

*AH stands for a**hole.

PS: 8{) means “Walk softly and carry a big stick.” It is a symbol for Teddy Roosevelt as per “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me”.

Advertisements

One response »

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s