Do You Need A Reason For Buying Sex Toys?



Dear Readers,

Today’s post is a contribution from Walker Thornton, a sister writer/blogger who writes about relationships also.  She has done a lot of research on the topic at hand and has graciously agreed to join in the fun for this series.  I met her while be photographed for The Eleanor Project (click here for more information), a blog dedicated to changing the perception of what is beautiful started by writer/blogger Jennifer McDonald and photographer/blogger, Terry Beigie.  To learn more about Walker and her blog, A Woman’s Page, click here.


Do You Need a  Reason For Buying Sex Toys?

Sexual desire is a natural, healthy and delicious thing. Whether you’re in a relationship or single, 20 or 70—sexuality is still a vital part of who you are as a person. How you define sexuality and what you do to enhance your sex life is a personal matter.

Our culture is obsessed with sex. Yet we don’t talk about sex in a matter-of-fact, healthy way, leaving many people feeling confused or out of touch with their own feelings.

How do we learn? How do we communicate our sexual desires to a partner? And, how do we safely and comfortably incorporate a sexual practice in our lives?

This is where sex toys come in! What better way to kick start your sexual practice, solo or otherwise, into high gear than to buy a sex toy….or two.  Need a reason to buy one for yourself or a partner? I’ve got a few thoughts and justifications (as if we need a justification to feel good? ) for starting or adding to your toy collection:

  1. The experience of sexual pleasure makes us feel good. It energizes us.
  2. Sexual health is important for women of all ages, particularly women approaching menopause. As delicate vaginal tissues dry up women are more susceptible to tearing and painful intercourse.  Vaginal atrophy ( is unpleasant and painful.  Sexual stimulation of any sort promotes lubrication and  helps keep vaginal tissues supple.
  3. Low sex drive? Don’t feel sexy? One of the best ways to enhance sexual responsiveness is by learning your body’s hot spots. Experiment with fingers and sex toys to discover what feels good to you. The very act of thinking about sex and expressing yourself sexually leads to heightened awareness and desire. Once you understand what turns you on, you can guide your partner to bring you both greater satisfaction.
  4. Single? A good vibrator or dildo, depending on your preference, is just as good and sometimes better than sex with a partner.  There’s no need to assume that sexual satisfaction must be tied to intimacy with another person.
  5. Both men and women benefit from bringing sex toys into the bedroom. They add a spark to your intimate moments, reviving a boring or dying sex life and are just…plain good fun.

As a woman you will enjoy better sex when you understand your body and how it responds to touch.  Many women get into the trap of assuming a man should know how to satisfy her. But, the truth is that men aren’t taught about the female anatomy. You need to know what arouses you in order to help him. Having an orgasm is not as easy and spontaneous as it looks on the movies. And, many women have never experienced one.  The key is to open yourself up to sexual pleasure—all alone—and with a partner. Using a vibrator is one way to increase your capacity for sexual satisfaction.

How Do I Know Which Sex Toy to Buy?

  • Do you want a toy for couples’ sex or for solo pleasuring? A dildo or a complex, vaginal/clitoral toy is a little cumbersome to use while you’re having sex. A small vibrator can be used in conjunction w/ fingers, tongue or penetration. Think about how you plan to use your new toy.
  • If you want to enhance your ability to have an orgasm, you might prefer one type of toy to another. Choose a toy designed to stimulate the clit.
  • If you’re new to sex toys start simple. I don’t recommend the rabbit-type toy, for example. The little rabbit ears are supposed to flutter around your clitoris, while the main shaft is inserted vaginally. Personally, this toy requires too much positioning to get the rabbit ears in the right spot—it’s distracting.

There are local sex shops and online sites where you find an array of toys. One of my favorites is Good Vibrations (link: . You can search their site for products, how-to articles and helpful tips. Babeland and EdenFantasys are other reputable, mainstream sites.

If you’re female, inviting your guy to shop with you for toys is pretty sexy! It can be a great way to start talking about your sex life. Guys, buying her a sexy toy would bring you both pleasure, just don’t go hardcore unless you know her preferences.

Sex toys add an exciting dimension to any sexual relationship. Use them to increase desire, as foreplay or incorporated into sex to focus on the clit, create fantasy play (think handcuffs, blindfolds), or to jazz up a lazy Sunday afternoon when you’re all alone and feeling sexy!

You might enjoy my article, A Vibrator Primer ( )

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