The Ball is Over- what a relief



The Gym transformed for the Financial Aid Fundraiser

When last I blogged it was a few days before the first event where H2’s girlfriend and I would be present at the same time. ( To read that post for background click here.)  The fundraiser, which I chaired for our daughter’s school, was a smashing success!  It was a great party and everyone had a good time.  H2 was well behaved for the installation of scenery, the event itself and only showed his nasty self during clean up where he charmingly (read sarcasm) snarled at me and complained repeatedly about things over which I had no control.

The obvious question is how did it go with Girlfriend and how did I react.  At the risk of disappointing, I am happy to report zero cat fights.  I was so busy all night running the show and tending to details that I had little time to even think about it and to be honest, even before the event I had abandoned any attachment.  They were guests at my charity event and I was happy to have them there to contribute to the financial aid fund.

I did happen to be at the check-in station when they arrived. Someone noted her obvious discomfort and I felt compassion.  I also knew from experience what sort of night she was in for with H2 and felt sorry for her. Although I avoided any real conversation with either of them, I did, as I did with other guests, check in with them periodically to make sure they were having a good time.  They seemed to be.  During the Live Auction part of the evening, I sat several feet behind them with the other women on the event committee and watched as H2 spent money like it was nothing. My thought was, “I am so grateful I am not going home with him as drunk as he is, have to deal with his “needs” when he is in such a state or wake up tomorrow to assess the financial damage incurred and try to figure out a way to fill the hole left by such recklessness.” Some of the worst hours of my married life followed events like this.  As far as Girlfriend was concerned, I thought that it is lucky for her that they are just dating and can enjoy the benefits of his overspending without suffering the consequences.

I am glad that H2 has found someone who makes him feel good and important in the way that he needs to feel good and important.  Hopefully, he is kind and respectful to her and has grown to treat her like a human being rather than an object.  I guess I will never know but I can hope.

On another note I had a difficult decision to make this past week concerning a really great guy I met over New Years and his geographic unavailability.  This man is so much of what I am looking for that I forgot for a moment that  availability is the key factor for me in the search for a relationship. It took a while but a little gnawing feeling gave way to realization that distance, regardless of the wonderful qualities of person involved, is unacceptable to me.  So I had to break it off.  Ugh.

Self love means being true to oneself.  Without self love we are unable to truly love others.

The quest continues.

2 responses »

  1. I think your decision to let go of the long distance guy is good. I just ended an over 4 year relationship that was long distance. There turned out to be no possible way for us to find a common location, until, maybe, retirement. I was not willing to continue on, given such a bleak forecast. Relationships, after 50, have an urgency that long distance cannot accommodate (soul mates notwithstanding). Well, unless you like being alone most of the time.

    Happy to see the encounter with the new ex’s squeeze went well:)

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