Holy Cow! I knew 2013 would be a good year for me because 213 is my lucky number- AND it was! As I reflect on the year I see a full, amazing, productive passing of 365 days complete with sadness, joy, highs, lows, dashed dreams and dreams that came true. I fed my spirit with a regular yoga practice, found Ayruveda, came to a place of compassion for several people who had injured me in the past, got a book writing deal, created an education program for teens and saw it come to fruition, realized my dream of working for a nonprofit in a meaningful capacity and generating an arts and culture radio show, traveled to the Grove Park Inn and Tibet, stayed in a 5 star hotel, attended many excellent live performances, spent some time in nature with my children and enjoyed many delectable meals with friends. Most importantly, I have gained a deeper sense of connecting and being connected to people, which brings me immeasurable joy. I feel love towards and feel loved by many friends and family and it ROCKS! This is a huge accomplishment because it means that I am really recovering from the effects of having lived with an alcoholic and thus the disease of alcoholism which caused me to be so fearful and wrapped up in my own (and the alcoholic’s) stuff that I lost the ability to truly connect with people. I feel like 2013 has been a year of relearning what love is – healthy love for myself and others. I have found a balance in the paradox of being happy to be just me and the desire to be part of a couple. Neither one nor the other state of being obsesses or limits me – I simply am and I am content.
Sure over the course of this year I had bouts of loneliness. I thought I had found a potential romance last new years at a yoga retreat but alas, the circumstances were unacceptable and I had to move on. There were a few nice dates and one madcap liaison which has resulted in a fun friendship. I questioned my requirements and my gut particularly after learning of the marriage of a former suitor less than a year following his divorce (Am I too picky and that is why I too am not married or dating someone regularly?) but after contemplation returned to the understanding that I am a rare and special woman who requires someone special and that is also rare. So I will just have to wait.
I am not actively looking but I am open to whoever might come along that is interesting. I am having loads of fun with my career, family, friends and causes and I have faith that when the time is right the right man will come into my life. He will just walk right up and it will be quite clear that he is the right guy. I am thinking 2014 will be the year this happens because I am more ready than ever since I am in a better place than I can remember. Besides it has got to be the year of love, it is 2-14 after all- the whole year is Valentine’s Day. What better year for romance to come in to one’s life?
As you can see I am ever the optimist but if it doesn’t happen that is OK too. It will still be the year of love as I am sure I will continue to learn to love myself even more, opening me up to more love for others.
In closing I offer a new years wish for all of you dear readers:
I hold the vision that 2014 is the year of love and that everyone on the planet learns to love a little deeper in the next 365 days and that those seeking love partners find them with ease or better.
Happy New Year, Everyone!