Hi. I’m Mary. I am a 48 year old divorced mother of two who is looking for true love.

People say to follow your heart when looking for love, but my heart is stupid. I continually choose unavailable or inappropriate men. At middle age, I recognize my strengths and weaknesses. Choosing a mate is something I’m really bad at and I need help.

So… I’ve decided to get that help. I have recruited a group of smart friends and family* to offer advice as I re-enter the world of dating. Some of these people have known me my whole life, some are relatively new friends. There are both men and women in my Dating Brain Trust to add perspective. These range in age from mid-30s to 80, straight and gay, various racial and ethnic backgrounds, different religions. My Dating Brain Trust has single folks, newlyweds, long-term marriages, and divorce survivors. Even one of my former boyfriends is part of my DBT. In short, I’ve got it all.

Join me as I navigate the dangerous waters of dating by committee in search of true love.

Contact Mary: datesbycommittee @ gmail . com

* My mother is part of this. What mother doesn’t want to have a say in who her daughter dates?

5 responses »

  1. Hi Mary, thank you for inviting me to join your adventure. It would be fun to follow it from this spiritual place where i am at. May be i send you some good vibes, who knows.. This adventure needs magic and surrender. That is what happened to me. The brain categorizes,”I like this, i don’t like that”. I did not like my sweetie when i met him. I told him he was not my kind of guy -the kind i was familiar with and what i failed with too). I was not his type of girl,- his familiar one, but also failed. So we were just friends for 2 years, telling each other, you are not the one. So, we showed each other our worst… since there was not future, nothing to loose…So, when it started to grow, slowly…very slowly…by the end we had nothing to hide, and all there was to discover was the best…so…the worst is still there, but we are getting used to it, we can’t complain since we were warned, and even some has changed for the best…. But it all started with “magic”. That is for another time. So. my little piece here is to set your goals, the perfect mate, and then forget about it, since it may come wrapped in a different cloth you don’t recognize and the jewel may be hidden for you to discover…and that is the fun part. I know you will enjoy that part…go girl, i am cheering for you!

  2. Hi Mary, I recently stumbled onto this blog and have enjoyed it a lot. I can relate to many of your dating (mis)adventures and thoughts about the whole concept as well :-).
    Hope all well. I am living in Mexico now!
    Best wishes,

    • Hi Linda,
      Thanks for reading and taking the time to let me know a little about you. I am glad you enjoy the blog. I am also grateful to have a community of people out there for support as I navigate these rough dating waters.

      Would you be willing to tell more about your life in Mexico? Did you re-locate recently?


      • HI Mary,
        I moved to San Miguel de Allende in July after getting a teaching job at an International School there. I have always wanted to live in Mexico and so this was a dream for me. I had visited SMA quite a few times before as my ex-mother-in-law lived here for 15 years. It’s absolutely charming and lovely. The job is another story 🙂 I adore my colleagues, but I don’t really want to teach full time. I actually see a glimpse of being able to make a living solely as an artist here, and I am working on a few different projects to that end. (Everything also takes much longer to get done). If you get the chance, I just had an exhibition open at Artspace in Richmond last weekend. It is up until April 21. 29 paintings. There is a gallery in SMA that is giving me a show in June so that is very exciting!
        I am currently on my spring break and am in Belgium for two weeks with my son. It is great to have him here!
        I admire your hutz-puh to put out such personal experience with your dating life for everyone to enjoy (and certainly relate to). John HIll recently asked me if I was “dating” My reply was, “Well, I would be dating, if someone would ask me for a date!” Pretty slim pickins’, I agree. But I, like you have indicated, am being picky about my “pickins” 🙂 Aside from that, my life feels really very good right now!

        Take good care, and keep in touch!

  3. Oh, Linda from Richmond, Yes? I didn’t know your last name before. Thanks again for reading. I will try to get over to Art Space to see your show. I am very excited and happy for you on your big move to Mexico and visiting your son in Belgium. Belgian chocolate truffles are a particular weakness of mine. I once spent $200.00 on truffles during a visit and only shared 4 of them.

    Have a great time on your holiday and keep me posted.


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