Category Archives: Bachelors

Stay or go?

Standard

Oh Great Dating Brain Trust.  I call on you to help me make a decision regarding B4.  A wee ago we scheduled a night when he could come over and cook dinner for my daughter and I because he likes to cook and his kitchen is being worked on so he has missed cooking.  This would have been a good opportunity to see how he interacts with my daughter as well as a demonstration of his supposed culinary talent.

He called about an hour before he was to arrive to say that he might need to push the dinner back a bit because the contractors who were working on his roof were not finished for the day and they were at a critical point that had to be completed before they could leave.  He asked if he could come later and we agreed that dinner could be as late as 8:30pm.  He also said that if it looked like he would be late he would order take out for us and still come. At 7:15pm he called to say the roofers had just finished and he was exhausted and that he wanted to cancel.  He apologized and asked if I would be available to have dinner with him and some friends tomorrow night – a date which I told him last week I could not make.

What do you think?  Should I see him again or can him?

Advertisements

An option

Standard

 

 

Apparently Santa has come early for this good girl (who knew?).  A friend virtually introduced me to B6, a successful entrepreneur, established in his business, lives near Charlottesville, is athletic, enjoys UVA sports,has a pleasant demeanor and a good sense of humor in his early to mid 50’s, his youngest child is in college and he seems completely sane (a huge bonus after B5 and other pre-DBT dates).

 

We met for coffee and had a nice hour long chat, shook hands (no ambush kisses attempted). He emailed later to ask if I would like to have lunch the following week. I really liked the lack of pressure either physical or emotional.  Several first dates I have been on closed with an awkward question of “Would you like to get together again?” and I feel put on the spot.  No red flags at this moment.

 

Will keep you posted on lunch.

B#5

Standard

Remember B#5?

The man I met for coffee who waxed poetic about all of his relationships, tried to kiss me when I deposited him at the parking lot, called me twice the next day then texted at 7:20am on Sunday morning and when I told him I was uninterested in a romantic involvement he said I presumed too much then went into a monolog about all the things that were wrong with me that he had determined in the two whole hours he spent with me two days prior then asked if I wanted to get together or not and when I said it would be ok if we could meet on a professional level and he said no he was only interested in getting together if there was a possibility of a romance? Well, yesterday he texted me a book recommendation.  I was truly surprised because I thought he had made it very clear that he was only interested in having contact if there was a chance for love.  So I decided that before I responded I should investigate the book in case there was some spiteful element to the suggestion.  This morning I received another text from B#5 saying, “Sent u a recommendation yesterday.  Might have been nice if u had acknowledged it.”

 

So what do you think DBT?

Blip : meet B#5

Standard

It has been a busy week.  Six play reviewed in eight days, 4 parties in the last two days and three meals “out” and two dates – a second date with B#3 and a first date with B#5 (need to fill you in).  Haven’t heard anything from B#4 this week though I left him a “thank you” voice mail and sent him a copy of the review I wrote of the play we say last Sunday afternoon.  This is the way he is a probably has something to do with why things never got off the ground with him years ago.

Second date with B#3 went fine but I got grouchy and irritated towards the end of the evening.  Dinner was great and the show was fantastic but I found myself getting a little irritated with him for no particular reason.  I am sensing something about him that I don’t like but I am also concerned that it is just because he is a nice guy and I am fairly un-used to that.  He invited my daughter and I out to his farm this morning to cut a Christmas tree (a very sweet gesture- he seemed eager to solve my Christmas tree dilemma which was I was uncomfortable paying for one but thought I should have one this year to add a feeling of festiveness to the cabin) and he was perfectly delightful and kind of cute in everyday clothes.  We saw him later another event to which he had invited us.  Since the invitation included anyone else we’d like to bring my friend F came and his beautiful lady friend.  The lady friend and B#3 had briefly dated about a year ago so that added an interesting dynamic to the afternoon.

Now I will introduce you to B#5:  This man is accomplished in his field, my middle sister’s age (older than me), well-off, children off to college, divorced twice and articulate. The photo I found of him showed a good-looking man, athletic and distinguished. A friend gave us both contact information and we had two delightful conversations then decided to meet for coffee. In real life he was at least 40 lbs heavier than his photo which took me off guard. I enjoyed the conversation but at the end of a 2.5 hour introduction he went for the ambush kiss when we were saying good bye.  I HATE that.  There was no indication on my part that a kiss would be appropriate and I had to dodge his mouth and kiss his cheek- ACK!  I was totally drained after that and just felt something amiss.

He called twice the next day and texted at 7:20am on the next morning (a Sunday).  When I finally called him to let him know that I had thought about it and didn’t want to pursue contact under the auspices of an eventual romantic attachment he said I had presumed too much, proceeded to tell me all the things that were wrong with me and then asked me if I wanted to get together with him after all.  I said it would be nice to meet under professional mentoring circumstances and he did a 180 and said that he only had time for relationships that had the possibility of romance.  WHATEVER, Mr. Presumptuous!  I felt great after hanging up.  I knew I had just spared us both from the agony of each other’s company.

Now that my daughter is home for the next four days before she leaves on vacation with her Dad, things should slow down a bit. And frankly I am ready for a rest.

Second date B#2

Standard

OK, There is a lot going on.  When it rains it pours, right?  So you all know about the wonderful time I had with B#3 on Saturday night.  We are going to see another show tomorrow night and I am truly looking forward to it because he is taking me to one of my favorite restaurants in Staunton for dinner before the show at the Blackfriars Theatre at American Shakespeare Center.

Last night I went to see a show (this is what happens when you are a theatre critic, you see a lot of plays) with B#2.  It was a nice evening but he started out the conversation telling how he isn’t ready for a relationship.  That’s cool because we make good friends and there is a deal breaker issue at hand already, his ex-wife.  Ex-wife of B#2 is someone I knew before they got married and I am uninterested in reconnecting with her ever again for any reason.  They have three children which means, if involved seriously with him there would be interaction with her.  Sorry guys, he’s really nice and great to talk with and the children sound lovely but…. I am taking him out of the running.

So here I will introduce B#4 (told you things are jumping).  He is a little younger, someone I knew before I was married to H#2 (husband #2) and spent quite a bit of time with.  He is from an old Virginia family and is a gentleman farmer.  He is politically conservative but has a surprisingly similar spiritual belief to mine, likes art and the theatre, travels quite a bit and  likes sometimes to buy me expensive gifts just because- no strings attached, really. He is sweet natured and appeals to the traditional side of me.  Never married and no kids that I know of.

We went to the theatre on Sunday afternoon.  He took me out for brunch beforehand at a fantastic resort near my house.  He made sure we had a table with a spectacular view and we had such a nice time chatting and catching up that we were late for the play.  Upon return to the resort (to pick up my car) we stopped into the bar and had a glass of wine by the fire.  He was thoughtful and attentive and made me feel just wonderful.

Will provide a full report on second date with B#3 soon.

First Date B#3

Standard

 

A marathon date Saturday night with B#3 was lots of fun but maybe a tad too long. I do not recommend seven hour first dates because they can prove to be awkward if you learn all you want to learn about a new person in a short period of time then you have several agonizing hours to pass before you can part company but I had promised my friend D that I would help her set up for her husband’s birthday party at a local winery  at around 6:00pm.  I was planning to nosh there before the 10:00pm play that I was reviewing so I invited B#3 to come along without thinking about how many hours that would be.  But it worked out because I learned two important things: 1) How this guy would do at a social event – something important in my world because Mr. Right for Me will be constantly attending galas, openings and charity events and he has to be able to hold his own without me babysitting or feeling “left out”.  2) If there was enough there to sustain conversation through a long stretch of time.

I must say, B#3 did a splendid job  balancing chatting up other party guests and spending time with me affording me the op  do my own chatting up of guests and still feel like I was “with” someone.  He is a really interesting, intelligent man and we managed to stay engaged in conversation throughout the night.  Fairly impressive.

Other things I learned:  He lives on a 75 acre farm, he LOVES this area and likes to be out in the country but also enjoys traveling, he is part owner of several businesses all over the country, he fosters dogs (there are currently 5 at his house right now and they have free run of the house), he also has a few pet cats, there are horses on his property but they are not his, he ADORES tomatoes, he was previously in a ten year relationship with a woman – that ended 3 years ago but they remain friends.

He came to my house and picked me up and we drove out to the winery which is about 35 minutes away.  He drove responsibly and asked interesting questions and provided interesting answers to my questions. He fit right in with the party crowd and seemed to have a great time.  We had decided ahead of time that we might go out to eat to sort of break up the evening so we left the party after a couple of hours making a grand exit by performing the “Time Warp” in a group karaoke number.  Not every man is able to pull that off, folks.  And those of you who have known me for a long time understand how truly meaningful it is to meet a guy who can rock some Rocky Horror Picture Show tunes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

B#3 is into food so he took me to one of his favorite restaurants for dinner, a nice Italian/Spanish place downtown.  He ordered a fabulous shrimp appetizer and all the waitstaff and owner fawned over him.  But he completely lacks pretense so the attention was pleasant but not intrusive.  Sadly, there  were no chocolate desserts to be had to top off my yummy piyaya dinner so dessert less we hoofed it over to the theatre where he purchased an orange peel and dark chocolate bar to share – add points.

The show, DIRTY BARBIE, is an original one woman wonder about growing up in the south in the late ’70’s, ’80’s and early ’90’s. It is full of secret girl stuff which might have offended a certain type of man but B#3 thoroughly enjoyed it and we had a lively discussion about it on the way home.

 

 

 

 

Only possible red flag (and this is minor): dogs allowed on the furniture including the bed.

 

 

 

 

 

Things I like most about him:  He has a vibrant, positive energy, he is articulate and possess a good sense of fun.  He is interesting and seems interested.  He seems really stable.

It was a lovely evening and I am planning to have a second date with him this Thursday – another dinner and another play.

Will keep you posted.

 

 

Surprise Date

Standard

Yesterday, I was finishing up edits on a story for VIRGINIA LIVING and thought about meeting B#3.  There are two things coming up that I thought he might enjoy so I decided to send him an email just letting him know about them and that I thought it was too bad that he would miss them.  He emailed right back and told me he just happened to be in town for a few days between his December travels so I invited him to join me for a play tonight and he said “yes”. Yippy!  He also sent me an invitation for a dinner he and a friend are hosting for a local Culinary group  for next weekend.

I haven’t given the usual first date elements any thought but I do have a mini day-of -beauty planned today following the completion of this blog post.  I will be coloring my roots myself for the first time today (probably unwise but I am feeling brave), showering (always a good idea) having a nice walk and taking a nap as we will be out late.  I am taking him to the Birthday celebration of a friend (it is a big party of 50 to 60 people) then to a late showing of a one woman play at 10:00pm.

What to wear?  Temperatures will be dropping into the thirties by the time the show starts so I will need something warm.  I feel that the full length mink is too much for a first date so whatever I choose will have to work with my long black Steve and Searl wool coat. I also want to avoid repeating my outfit from last night and a dress is pretty much out, I think because of the weather and it is not opening night plus I hate wearing tights or panty hose to the theatre – it is just uncomfortable to me.  Well then again, I could wear my grey light wool skirt with a medium length grey cashmere sweater with tights and boots and that would look nice without begin too dressy and feminine without being overtly sexy while justifying the long coat.  Got it!

OK.  Full report tomorrow.