Tag Archives: dating

1st Date: A nice change of pace

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Yep, it is time to start going out again and yesterday, a stunning spring day here in central Virginia, I had a delightful lunch al fresco with a lovely man.  If you have been following my recent dating life, you will know that this is a dramatic change of pace- meaning a delightful dating experience.

This man is nice looking, athletic (including yoga), a pleasant conversationalist, has a charming sense of humor, is an established professional, he is a father  age AND he has been divorced for a few years which means he is actually

A-V-A-I-L-A-B-L-E !!!!!!

We have enough in common to be compatible but differ enough to be interesting to each other.

Here’s what  happened:

He talked about his children rather than his ex-wife.

He asked questions and listened to my answers.

He shared appropriate information about himself rather than things like his sexual preferences, his issues with his co-workers/relatives/other women, details of his divorce or medical problems.

He expressed interest in my viewpoints rather than judging or trying to fix things.

He let me speak in full sentences rather than interrupting.

We ate at one of my favorite restaurants (his too), chatted and shared a chocolate mousse.

After lunch we took a nice walk and that was that. We agreed that we would like to see each other again and there was a comfortable lack of physical contact or attempt there of. (Click here to read about a contracting date)

I look forward to seeing him again soon.

When was the last time you were pleasantly surprised on a date?

Who should call whom? Is this a valid question in today’s dating world?

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The other day I read a blog post by Suzy Weiss a dating coach for women over 40.  In her blog, WHAT MEN REALLY WANT IN A WOMAN Suzy discusses the “calling issue” where she suggests that women should not call men until a relationship is established.  She relates the story of a woman named Patty who called a man after the first date to invite him to a concert for which she had tickets and what happened next when the man didn’t call her.  Suzy suggests that by calling the man, thus “chasing” him, the woman ruined her chances with him.  I thought, maybe it was her having sex with him on their third date that killed that one but what do I know?

I am unsure how I feel about this topic of whether or not to call a man.  I tend to lean towards getting to know someone as a friend before considering a romance (not that I have done that before but it is why I am working on that now) and so calling him seems just fine.

What are your thoughts?  In the middle of life what should be one’s policy for calling?  And for you coupled people:  What is your story?  Was there some sort of “chasing” thing set up to facilitate a “catch” or not.  Please share your thoughts and stories.