Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, one of my least favorite days of the year starting with the 6th grade which was the year all the people in the class stopped exchanging paper Valentines. Ever since then the day has been a gut wrenching, ego-shrinking humiliation of witnessing other women be gifted with flowers, candy, jewelry and wined and dined at fancy restaurants while my day usually ended in a fight with whomever I was dating at the time. The exception were the years I spent married to the father of my daughter H2. He was always very good about remembering the occasion with something wonderful starting with the first Valentine’s of our dating life when on February 13th he sent me three dozen long stem white roses in a basket, you know, like the ones opera singers get in old movies after a stellar performance (aka: post Susan’s performance in CITIZEN KANE) complete with a card that said, ” I just couldn’t wait.” Practical and romantic as roses are probably half the price on 2/13 as they are on 2/14.
Anyway, that has nothing to do with yesterday where I am lacking a lover of any kind other than the vibrating variety. In a kind of desperate moment, I agreed to meet a man we will call B8 for a drink at my neighborhood hangout which is five minutes away from my house. I say kind of desperate because I think the only reason I agreed to meet him last night is because it was Valentine’s and I just wanted to be interested in by someone. But I have had coffee with this man and he seems nice so what the heck, right?
We meet at 7:30pm. We order. I am having only one drink so I opt for a glass of bubbly with a glass of water. He orders a vodka martini AND a beer. This strikes me as an interesting choice. I have spent way too many hours of my youth in bars with plenty of drunks and married two alcoholics but I have yet to observe a drink order quite like this. So I ask him why he ordered the beer and he says it makes him drink the martini slower which prevents him from getting drunk as fast.
What do you think of this logic, readers?